Hemingway Lost

I once walked into a Starbucks and after staring into the abyss for 5 minutes, I decided to just order a regular coffee… black.  I think the guy asked me a few follow-up questions, then looked at me like I was from another planet.  I was trying to figure out how a Tall wasn’t a large. I was born in this country but I don’t know what the fuck a Venti is.


Masculinity is dying.  It may not be extinct, but it’s on the endangered list.  Free thought is shrinking.  Pick the left or pick the right… but whatever you do don’t think for yourself. Edgy and rugged independence were traded in for political correctness and a Michelob Ultra.

This isn’t about chest pounding or bragging about the size of your penis.  It’s not about turning a blind eye to sensitivity.  You won’t see any advocacy for the ridiculous in the lines of these paragraphs.  You won’t find any rationalizations for violence or  the mistreatment of women.  Sexism, racism, antisemitism or homophobia have no place in our world, but they also have nothing to do with what I’m talking about here.

Remember when a man could be a man?  Wait a second… do you remember when a man could be a man and not have to apologize for it?  I’m not trying to get into a pissing contest here.  Actually… you know what?  Never mind…  I like a good pissing contest every now and then.  It’s what makes men… well it’s what makes us men.  There are no participation trophies handed out in life.  You do your job or you find yourself unemployed.

It’s frowned upon more and more for young boys to show signs of masculinity.  Maybe if we don’t hand out man cards… there will be none to take up later on.  For decades… men have been encouraged to show there sensitive sides.  Go on… cry.  Let it out.  There is nothing wrong with a man revealing sensitivity and creativity while retaining his raw masculinity.  We shouldn’t have to apologize for our testosterone levels.

And let me say this.  It’s totally okay for those guys who choose to pack up their macho side and live how they choose.  But people shouldn’t scrutinize those of us who don’t.  No guilt should be slung our way.

We are becoming a society of wimpy whiners.  We’re a community of beta males hoping no one notices the absence of alphas.  We’re even watering down whiskey to 66 proof… adding cinnamon and sugar… and calling it whiskey shots.   We’re wearing knit caps and skinny jeans… ordering iced coffee drinks or crafted beer while we check the tracking status of our latest Amazon order.  Where is John Wayne and Ernest Hemingway?  They’re gone.